will i make it?

by the time i heard about this news,
i was totally stunned and shocked....
i never expected it to be so fast,
i'm not prepared for anything like this yet....
and then i just wrote down my name,
with the hand shivering while scribbling the names on the paper....

i don't want to put up too much hope on this,
i know i'm very high-expectant,
i'm hoping for something that only have a slight chance to be true...
because,
i know that i wasn't doing very well,
both in camp and usual duty...

i wasn't a good urusetia,
because i talked less than others....
i'm not a good seki,
because i can't carry out my control in cafe well....

i wasn't doing my best, right?

before that i was very nervous about this interview,
but now i'm feeling neutral.
not a very good sign though,
because...
i'm not sure whether i've given up my high expectation,
or i wanted to take it easy by walking in and crap and just walk out like that....

well,
whatever it is,
i'm wishing for the best.
this is the most important interview already,
it'll mean EVERYTHING in my future....

God help me....

and stick to this purpose:
Beat Her Down!