At least temporarily

I'm thankful, that I have found the long lost self.
The self, who has been engulfed into the chaos of the world;
The self, who has been pulled into the turbulence of social classes and individualism;
The self, who has been immersed in emotional ups and downs...
For the whole 1.5 years.

At least temporarily, I'm fixed.
I fixed myself, with music (self) therapy.
A method which I have not been adopting for 2 years?

I thought I no longer have problems in life that could bring headaches.
How naive and impossible.
And so I thought I no longer have the ability to help myself:
To regulate my own emotional problems, to not lock onto someone else for support.
But tonight, I did it.

For an hour or so, the mess in my head was thrashed away, one by one.
For a moment or so, I broke myself away from the complicates of life.
For a brief second or so, I vividly visualized new dreams and goals.
I felt content, independent, stable, positive.
And I do not want to come back to reality.
At least temporarily.

Meditation or mindfulness practice does not apply to me.
Something that I have been trying to practice since the moment I left home.
But tonight, I finally found my emotional revenue -- this one.
Something which I have forgotten,
Something which I have not clung onto,
For so long.

At least temporarily,
I found my last revenue, my last resort.

At least for tonight,
I'm telling the world,
I PICKED MYSELF UP.

Selfish? Self-centered?
But if I don't help myself,
Who will?



The loud bangs and shatter outside of my room now remind me of those inconsiderate people living under the same roof.
I'm snapped back to reality.

And there it goes again.