since when???

after a number of incidents...
i just realised that i had suddenly changed a lot...
really changed...

since when...
i become so sensitive to everything...
to everyone around me...
as well as myself...

since when...
i feel as if i had offended so many people...

since when...
i feel better if i m alone...

since when...
i'm no longer dare to face reality...
i feel better if i escape it...

since when...
i feel so tensed day after day...
but i can't even know what my problem really is...

since when...
i can't feel about my own feelings...
tensed? happy? nervous? furious? panic? sad?...
all of this...
it's like stucking in my deep heart core...
but i can't feel it...
i don't even know what's my feeling right now while composing this post...

since when...
i become so pessimistic...
those sensitivity's thoughts always make me step into pessy-path...

since when...
i have no will to study...
i don't have that spirit to study for my exam...
but still i want to get good result...

since when...
since when...
since when...

WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO ME???
CAN ANYONE TELL ME PLEASE???