how???

what shall i talk about today?
well sincerely i don't know...
i just feel like writing blog,
that's all...
don't know why (or maybe i know why),
i found myself very very depressed after going back home...
was it because i was jealous?
or was it because...?
i don't know...
i even thought of revealing my feelings towards him,
by now, by this moment.
that was an urge,
so fierce that i couldn't even manage myself.
and now that i'm composing this post,
i'm trying to calm myself down,
am trying to let my unpleasant feeling to fade away.
for god's sake,
how???
how am i to put down???