well?

finally it's thursday.
this means that i don't have to meet him for the next two days...maybe,
and don't have to be aware of him texting me...perhaps.
i found that,
once again,
i succeeded in handling my feelings.
i don't feel lost...maybe not yet,
i don't feel depressed because of can't meet with him...maybe not yet too,
but....
i feel as if i've just lost an aim in my life...
i laughed for nothing,
talked for nothing...
it's like,
suddenly,
there is a hole in my chest,
very empty, and somehow very weightless...
i'm kinda afraid of this kind of feelings,
because although i know that i've almost put everything down,
i don't feel like wandering aimlessly in life...
without a center,
i'll take notice of other guys around me again,
to be exact,
'flirting' will take place...again.
this word is bad,
but maybe it'll suit my future if i can't control myself.
but now the conclusion is that,
i'm happy....for nothing.