no I've been honest to myself

lying to myself,

again and again.

or,

did i?

it wasn’t meant to be like that.

they didn’t mean anything.

I mean,

I didn’t mean to mean anything in them.

yeah there were hidden meanings,

but I hid them pretty well.

but why?

after several days of consumption,

she was turned away,

leaving behind thousands of questions without answers.

or perhaps I was being too sensitive?

now that the feeling had turned stronger?

oh shit,

no no no.

no way.

it isn’t like this.

not at all.

the words of ‘A’ and ‘L’,

they’re totally different.

vary in many many ways.

but still...

why???

lol stop it,

it’s not that I care.

or maybe I do.

well I don’t know.

control it.

contain it.

it never goes overboard.

just retrieve myself from being too sensitive.

yeah that’s it. :-)